Daniel and I are having dinner at a seafront eatery at Dungu Bay. We can spy the island nation of Singapore outside our window.
Daniel’s eyebrows furrowed.
“I f*cking hate Singaporeans. I wish I can somehow bring all the Malaysian men here. We can then proceed to piss in the general direction of that shitty little island. Hopefully, we’ll create a wee tidal wave big enough to drown every single one of those motherf*ckers.”
Here are some educational facts lifted from the ever reliable wikipedia:
On average, the volume of urine a single adult human male can ‘release’ is 0.2 litres.
Singapore’s land area is roughly 699 square kilometres.
This got me thinking. All night long I tossed and turned. How much urine would there be, had all 10 million Malaysian men peed in Singapore’s general direction… Sigh. I am strange, you should know that by now.
10 million men equates to around 2 million litres of wee.
And to simplify things, let’s assume Singapore is a perfect cube.
If you remember your secondary school mathematics, 1 cubic metre = 1,000 litres.
Thus, 2,000,000 litres of wee = 2,000 cubic metres.
Let’s solve the following equation to arrive at the height of the wee:
2,000 cubic metres = 26,440 metres X 26,440 metres X HEIGHT
HEIGHT = 0.00286 millimetres.
10 million men in Malaysia, and all we can do is an astoundingly paltry 0.00286 mm?
No wonder the Singaporeans ‘look us no up’.
Inevitably, we arrive at the disappointing conclusion that Daniel’s wee tidal wave will never become reality. His sad, puppy eyes on hearing the results of my calculations, tear at my heart strings. Well Daniel, at least there’s some consolation in all this.
Cracks me up, every single time I think about those Singaporean fellas drinking their own weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.