Pfffbbbrrrttt!

World Cup…

My eyes and brains are absolutely and positively knackered. Too many late nights.

My doctor told me that sports is good for my health. He, I am afraid, is woefully misguided.

Here’s why:

  1. Sports and football in particular, is extremely stressful stuff. Especially when my team is losing, time is running out and the opposition mucking around with the ball at the corner flag.

  2. Sore throats are a definite possibility. All that shouting and ‘couching’ will take its toll.

  3. Bookies or their ‘debt collectors’ may inflict grievous bodily harm.

  4. Alcohol and junk food consumed when watching matches are not compatible with nice and trim tummies. Want a six pack? Forget about it.

  5. Even if you actually play football, you will get hurt. Bruised ankles, torn ligaments, broken bones. The list goes on and on. Just ask Jacko and Datuk.

  6. Plus the ladies don’t really find the smell of sweat particularly attractive.

In addition, watching the World Cup these days is perilous to my sanity. Astro, damn them, have been hammering at my weakened state of mind with the monotonous and frankly useless ramblings from Paul “Massive” Masefield and Shebby “Yes John” Singh. Why them? Why every single match? Arrrggghh! I can’t take it anymore.

shebpaul.jpg

I miss John Dykes. Where is he?

Oh, and England lost on penalties to Portugal. Christiano Ronaldo is a waste of space. I want to smack that cheating crybaby. 😦

Frag. I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.

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One Response

  1. lol…….. ur damn cool bro!
    very the witty!

    “yes john”

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