Bangkok Trip (Part 1)

Thailand. I have never been there before, so I am quite excited. I have been hearing so much about the Thai girl (tiger) shows floating market, Patpong, huge pasar malams, traffic jams and very polite please-keep-your-credit-card-people. E-mail me if you have no idea what I am on about in the last line.

I just can’t wait to stand in the middle of the congested streets and breathe in the yellow smoggy air, which is probably highly acidic and not very good for the lungs. Just like going clubbing then.

Hmmm… I can see myself there now, stuck in a paralysing traffic deadlock, clutching my stomach and desperate for a toilet because I contracted food poisoning from consuming too much Thai street food.

I digress. I am sitting in the lounge of the LCC-T with Seekarlui waiting to board the plane bound for Don Muang. Finally, the announcement comes. Suddenly, the lounge becomes a hive of activity. Complete chaos. People running, jumping, scampering all over the place. I am bewildered for a second or two. Then it occurs to me: These people are lining up. Air Asia does not assign seats to passengers, so if you want good seats (away from the toilets), it would be preferable if you were amongst the first to board the plane – you get to call dibs.

Seekarlui and I rush to line up too (but with a little more ‘dignity), as we are also ‘kiasu’ (but don’t want other people to think we are). By this time, the line resembles the Great Wall of China. I may be exaggerating (Suanie, I can spell) just a tad, but it is pretty damn long.

We stand in line. La la la la. Twenty minutes pass. Something is wrong. We then realise that the line was for a plane bound for Jakarta.

Alamak! Piiiiaaakkk!! *slaps forehead*

Seekarlui and I slink back to our seats – faces burning. Shy.

Finally, the correct call comes, and the room again is in chaos. Malaysians ah, damn kiasu one – becoming like the Singaporeans.

We line up and wait for our turn. Shuffle, shuffle to the entrance. I start to contemplate about the last time I walked the tarmac to board a plane, exposed to the elements (sun, rain, bird shit, jet fumes, not to mention getting run over by one of those really vicious little buggies they use to haul our luggage).

Suddenly. My world comes to a complete stop. Everything. The earth’s liquid mantle stops spinning. Mahathir pauses from his daily dose of Badawi bashing. George Bush stops being a dumbass.

My eyes pop really, really wide. Jaw drops and hit the ground.

The Air Asia Manure Airbus A320. Arrrgghhh! The f*cking red monstrosity. A bulldog-faced thug giving the doi-doi crybaby transvestite a good buggering whilst staring at me as I climb up the steps to the plane.


I feel dirty sitting on the plane. Violated. Alan Shearer help me!!!

I am taking a bath. Lots and lots of baths. And therapy. Shit, I am going to be traumatised for years after this.


7 Responses

  1. nooooo!! u fucking kiddin me right? i’m bound to travel to Phuket also next week! cibai MU!

    had fun in Bangkok? i really love that place. post more pics la dude!

    anttyk: Hahaha. I only hope you are luckier than me. Stay tuned for more pics.

  2. cis show off

    anttyk: He he he…

  3. Wei!!!!

    Be proud ok, not everyone can board this ‘special’ airplane….. hahahahahahahha

    anttyk: Why should I? MU sucks.

  4. Yeah man. I have taken smaller than this whereby only one row each side and the pilot is as close as sitting in the car driver sit. So, you should feel proud that you are taking a bigger one! hahahahahahha

  5. Thanks for choosing services associated with the great Man Utd. We hope you enjoyed your budget flight.

    p.s. no one would want to ride on a planes associated with a kambing or a peacock right?

    anttyk: Weeell… Budget flight says it all. Service was budget. Stewardesses were budget. No food, no drinks. No shelter from the rain. So cheap I can even smell the mothballs. Just like Manchester United States and OOOOLD Trafford! :p 

  6. Guys i am back… stay tune for me lame comment….

    anttyk: Sigh… *shakes head + looks disapprovingly on*

  7. oklor… aparently somebody here don’t approve me coming back lor… i shall not visit this page anymore lor…

    bye bye… to this harsh, unloving world…
    bye bye… to my unfriendy so called friends….


    anttyk: Drama Queen. Why so emo today, my darling Vince? :p

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