Chipmunks and Phlegm

Ack, hack, hack! &*%#$@%#

I have been doing a really fantastic impression of a cat choking on its own hairball these few days.

I have tried, hack – excuse me, everything I could think off. Drinking lots of warm water. Took pills like an ecstasy junkie. Gobbled lozenges. I have tried cough mixtures. Popped Fisherman’s Friend and Hacks non-stop into my mouth all day long.

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Herbal stuff, my foot!

Fat lot of good all that did me! All I got was an upset and bloated stomach. My mouth feels funny with all the minty stuff that I have been popping in it. I really hope there won’t be any nasty side effects lurking below.

I really, really detest phlegm. I cannot stress that enough. Especially the type that clings tenaciously to your throat. Warm, gooey, icky.

Hack! Hack! Haaaaackkkkk!

Ah…. Satisfaction. I managed to dislodge a HUGE chunk. Since I am out in public, I keep it in my mouth – chipmunk style. We’re not in China, people!

Spit or swallow?

Wait oh wait… The cute hotel receptionist (Grace Park look-alike) is beckoning to me. Girls in uniforms are so HOT.

“Hey, how’s it going?” she inquires.

Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuulp! Oh fuckfuckfuckmuckduck!

The huge chunk of phlegm slides slowly down my throat and slips gratefully back to where it lay snugly before – the little cranny before my windpipe. Tiu.

Apparently, I swallow.

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8 Responses

  1. receptionist looking like grace park? err.. which hotel is this again?

    anttyk: Heh heh heh. That’s my little secret. if I let you know, tigerjoe will be there in a flash + he will sapu the girl.

  2. Sigh…. there goes your chance again… sigh…!!
    Looking at this rate, You’ll never get laid.. muahahaha

    anttyk: Hah! I got lucky plenty times thank you very much.

  3. Hahah…. Poor dude can’t get rid of his pleghm. Have you tried this medicine thingy called muculator or something like that? Its orange flavoured and can be brought from your friendly pharmacist. It can dissolve mucuous stuff in the throat quite well – for me anyway. Maybe if you’re lucky, the pharmacist might be pretty too, hehe…

    anttyk: Muculator? That’s an interesting name. Does Governor Schwarzenegger own the pharmaceutical company? Heh heh. With my luck, the pharmacist will be a huge hairy lady with Lydia Sum spectacles.

  4. haha.. poor fella.
    must be eating too much nice food there la.. “yit hei” u know? 😛

    anttyk: Yup. That must be it!

  5. hahahaha i understand how you feel! i wrote about something like this a couple of years back. hey, i swallowed too 😉
    you go to the pharmacist and ask for PROPER lozenges. what you’re taking ain’t gonna help. i believe the brand is called difflam. lozenges is just gonna relief the irritation in your throat (pls.. don’t swallow anymore). make sure you drink lots of warm water.

    anttyk: Thanks dreymer. 😉

  6. Dude, difflam is for sore throat only. Won’t help with the phelgm. Get the one that rara suggest. its much more effective.
    Happy hunting..!

    anttyk: dreymer is a chick, Vince.

  7. drink an iced cold pineapple juice.. sure gawdim one.

    anttyk: Wah… Lilly one ah? Ohkay, I go try!

  8. you swallow too?

    anttyk: Yeah, apparently so. *grin sheepishly*

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