Singapore and Wee

Daniel and I are having dinner at a seafront eatery at Dungu Bay. We can spy the island nation of Singapore outside our window.

Daniel’s eyebrows furrowed.

“I f*cking hate Singaporeans. I wish I can somehow bring all the Malaysian men here. We can then proceed to piss in the general direction of that shitty little island. Hopefully, we’ll create a wee tidal wave big enough to drown every single one of those motherf*ckers.”

Here are some educational facts lifted from the ever reliable wikipedia:

  1. On average, the volume of urine a single adult human male can ‘release’ is 0.2 litres.

  2. Singapore’s land area is roughly 699 square kilometres.

This got me thinking. All night long I tossed and turned. How much urine would there be, had all 10 million Malaysian men peed in Singapore’s general direction… Sigh. I am strange, you should know that by now.

10 million men equates to around 2 million litres of wee.

And to simplify things, let’s assume Singapore is a perfect cube.

singapore-pee.jpg

If you remember your secondary school mathematics, 1 cubic metre = 1,000 litres.

Thus, 2,000,000 litres of wee = 2,000 cubic metres.

Let’s solve the following equation to arrive at the height of the wee:

2,000 cubic metres = 26,440 metres X 26,440 metres X HEIGHT

HEIGHT = 0.00286 millimetres.

!!??!!

10 million men in Malaysia, and all we can do is an astoundingly paltry 0.00286 mm?

No wonder the Singaporeans ‘look us no up’.

Inevitably, we arrive at the disappointing conclusion that Daniel’s wee tidal wave will never become reality. His sad, puppy eyes on hearing the results of my calculations, tear at my heart strings. Well Daniel, at least there’s some consolation in all this.

One word.

NEWater. Heh.

Cracks me up, every single time I think about those Singaporean fellas drinking their own weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

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11 Responses

  1. u in jb now? heck, i’m in jb now!

    btw, it’s not dungu bay, it’s danga bay, antick.

    anttyk: I know… Dungu Bay is a huge waste of public funds, don’t you think so?

  2. before anyone slags off this posting and tries to defend the singaporeans, listen to this;

    a. the buggers purposely placed their industrial area in woodlands, northern side of their rock, facing johor. selat tebrau turned into a sewage pond after that, where previously the straits had clear, blue water.

    b. they bought sand from us for the purpose of land reclamation, which is fine since they’re currently running out of space. unfortunately for johor, they purposely reclaimed land adjacent to johor port, which then suffered greatly of siltation. no more deep water, so the big ships can’t enter thus nearly bankrupting johor port.

    tossers, the lot of them for trying to choke off johor economic and tourist revenue.

    p/s: yes, dungu bay is a bloody waste of money. they should’ve have beautified it on a limited basis to keep it more natural, but noooo.. they cut down the mangroves and built more lepak places for the rempits.

    anttyk: Hear, hear.

  3. damn.. u so free ah?

    by the way, pee can’t do, but semen can! 😛

    anttyk: Ha? Sure boh?

  4. You are a strange one. Ever tried golden shower?

    anttyk: Never even heard of it. :p

  5. 10m all man meh? why dun include woman n kid?

    i know pee from kid got more pressure [:D]

    anttyk: More pressure? Sure boh?

  6. me goin there on next tuesday wanna meet in JB?

    anttyk: Me is back in KL already. 😦

  7. noted..tght wanna ask u to pee together near tebrau…

    *first time when i reached spore, was straight to washroom n make a coco cake for them*

    anttyk: Nice one… 🙂

  8. Guys, before u try to make Pee Tidal Waves or Semen waves, call me and inform me..so that i can make my way back to malaysia and join the pee fest too..

    anttyk: So semangat ah?

  9. Malaysia boleh mah…

    must show “Semangat” Cinta Negara Kita Mar…. like Mr. Perdana Menteri says mar…we must love our nation mar…

    anttyk: Yes ah? I dunno who this apanama Perdana Menteri fella is. Can eat one ah? Sorry, I just got off a boat.

  10. Eh, i begin to like Singy girls lar… how??
    muahahaha… now i am divided…

    hhahaha

    anttyk: Can’t believe you like those barbie dolls.

  11. What to do, can’t get a real woman back in Malaysia, might as well settle for a Barbie…

    anttyk: You’re too choosy. That’s the problem.

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