Exemplary Self Control

C. Lengus has been trying to encourage Chosim to quit smoking lately. An exercise in futility, if you ask me. But that would not discourage him one bit as C. Lengus, my boss, can perform amazing feats. He can consume an entire chicken murtabak with four mouthfuls. I swear, it’s an amazing sight to behold.

Our daily mamak sessions are most certainly colourful – a dinner and a show, they say. Chosim, Maxie and I would be ROFL-ing around and C. Lengus would be sitting on his chair blinking, looking remarkably like a chipmunk with too many nuts stuffed in his cheeks.

But, I digress.

To encourage Chosim to stop smoking, C. Lengus makes a bet with him. The bet requires Chosim to refrain from smoking for an entire day. If he should he fail, he would have to buy C. Lengus a bottle of liquor.

“Like taking candy from a baby,” Chosim must be thinking. “Big kaplah* jumping around.”

8.00 am: Breakfast.

C. Lengus lets Chosim have his last ciggie for the day.

10.00 am. Office.

Chosim starts feeling faint. His nose begins to run. His body feels like a furnace and he is getting dizzy and feverish.

Concerned for his health, Chosim rushes out of his cubicle – scattering chairs, stationery and slow moving geriatric secretaries. Salvation is close at hand.

The suffering is almost unbearable. Ahhhhh…..


Two hours? That’s it? Exemplary display of self control indeed.      -_-

C. Lengus wins the bet and gets his bottle of liquor. I honestly think C. Lengus is way smarter than he lets on.

* Some small jumpy insect.
– – –
For more Chosim smoking stories, see here.


5 Responses

  1. I thought that a kaplah is a kind of frog.

    anttyk: Because it jumps around?

  2. Can the dude survive 8 hours of sleep without smoking a ciggie?

    anttyk: I think he smokes in his dreams.

  3. i can bear witness to the 1-roticanai-in-1-bite story.

    AND having a little COLOUR in your life (wardrobe) doesn’t make you homosexual. get with the times grandpa, it’s called METROSX.

    anttyk: I am most definitely NOT a metrosexual fella.

  4. yeah, they didn’t have METROSX in “your time” grandpa.

    and yes, KAP-LA is a kind of frog. slimmer than a TIN-KAI, fatter than a KAM-KUI.

    anttyk: Shouldn’t you be in bed by now, small boy?

  5. Is C.Lengus short for CunningLingus?

    anttyk: Yes. *runs away in case boss sees this*

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