I Need Sleep

These couple of days have been rather trying. I am desperately short of sleep. I have broken out in hives, and I’ve got a huge pimple on my forehead.

The renovation work on my home was fraught with errors, mistakes and delays. The cabinet maker destroyed three door panels of my kitchen cabinet during the installation process. The curtain maker gave me curtains with diarrhea, I mean, they run.

That’s not all. The sliding door for my walk-in wardrobe was not installed straight. The hole in the kitchen counter top was too big for my cooker hob. My bathroom screen guy did not even show up nor did he return my calls.

There are ugly holes and plastic casings in both bathrooms. I forgot about the wirings for the heaters. I had to return one of the dining chairs. There were some strange Monica Lewinsky-ish type stains on it.

My house is full of dust. There are massive holes in the walls due to the drilling and wiring work. There are insects every where too, no matter how much I hovering I do. Setia Alam seems to be infested with bugs. So, this is what living in an ant colony feels like. 😦

I slept on a bed with all the plastic coverings on, as my wardrobe is not finished yet. My clothes and stuff are all packed up in boxes. Every night the alarm system wakes me up, as I haven’t figured out how to operate the thing yet.

But I am happy.

And content.

I’ve got Astro. Heh.

Sean’s Top 5 Sayings

1. If it’s not black, I won’t put it in my mouth.
2. I want a big, hard one.
3. Cheebai kai.
4. Of course I blow it myself, no one else will.
5. Opps. I can’t keep it in.

Admittedly, I have to say that these phrases were taken out of their relevant contexts. But it’s still compelling reading, yes?

Sean is going away soon, to a land far-far away. We’re going to miss him her.   😦

Ciggies May Not Be Good For Your Health After All

C. Lengus, Chicken, Hero, Balak and I were sitting in the lounge at some seaside resort in Cherating waiting for Chosim, who was busy taking a dump. Chosim, if you remember, was involved in an incident a year ago where he nearly died deep frying keropok lekor in his kitchen. Click here to read that story.

Anyway, back to my tale.

Chosim hobbled out from the toilet, with a huge grimace on his face, his hands cupping his crotch.

Balak: What happened?

Chosim: I was sitting on the toilet seat, doing my business. Nothing to do mah, so I smoke. Mana tau, hot bits of ash fell from the cigarette and landed on my [censored].

Us: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Chosim: Woi, not funny la. Damn pain la wei… -_-

Us: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA some more.

I Have SOLD Out

I am a fraud. I have sold out. My soul is tainted beyond salvation. After months and months of valiant struggling, I have given in to temptation. Damn you, deviloftheinternet.

I have failed.

I am now on Facebook.

😦

Well, as the saying goes – When in Rome…

10 things I do with Facebook.

  1. Race my Fluff-thingy and bet. I lost all my munny betting on the faster animals, but somehow, the slow 20 fph fellas keep winning. It’s baffling. Now that I’m pokai, I go around molesting strangers Fluff-thingies to earn munny. This is so wrong.
  2. Look for old classmates. Seems to work better than Friendster (horrors!).
  3. Play Scrabble.
  4. Conteng other people’s walls.
  5. Repeatedly search for Lily the Liverbird every couple of hours.
  6. Spank people.
  7. Rearrange all the applications on my profile.
  8. Flood friend’s gardens with lots and lots of gnomes.
  9. Find out who broke up with who.
  10. Read Sean’s ever changing Facebook status. See below, in this instance, she is busy shitting on the aviation industry. I wonder why.

sean.jpg

Worries

These couple of days have been torture for me. I’m having trouble sleeping. There are so many thoughts running through my head I feel like I am going a little nuts. All I can do is try to ignore them and cover my head with my pillow, shutting out the world.

I worry.

I worry about the house. I worry about furnishing the house. Most of all, I worry about the money. Where I’m going to get it and how. How can I get more cash? How will I be able to settle the mounting credit card debts and the ridiculous interest rates that come with them?

Sadly at the moment, the only rooms I can afford to furnish is the living room, dining room and master bedroom. Every other room in the house will be empty and bare. Overnight guests will have to sleep on the cold hard floor, next to the little red spiders that have shown up recently.

Sometimes I just wonder if this is how life is. You slave for many years, scrimp, save up, give the best years of your life to the firm. And at the end of the day what do you get? A modest terrace house that you can’t even furnish properly.

There is something inherently wrong with this picture.

All I am asking for is very simple. That I be paid enough so that I can at least have a proper place to call home.

Is this too unreasonable a request?

Harharhar

What did the maxi pad say to the fart? You are the wind beneath my wings.

Hole

Shitshitshitshitdamn…. My hole’s too big.

😦