Vote for Me!

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P108: Shah Alam

Haha. The Great Pazuzu, President of PUNDAK has allowed me to contest in the upcoming elections. W00t!

If you vote for me, I will make wholesale changes to my constituency. So without further ado, here’s my promise to you, should I be elected.

  1. Declare Shah Alam’s independence from Malaysia.
  2. Appoint myself as Supreme Paramount Staedtler Ruler.
  3. Make Shah Alam a tax free haven, for humans only. Monkeys and hippopotamuses are taxed one peanut per month.
  4. To ease pollution and traffic congestion, I will destroy all tar roads, and replace them with rivers. Citizens will travel by boat. Highways will be sloped, to ensure that these boats will move faster, slow pokes who can’t handle the speed will drown.
  5. Declare a three day weekend, four days work week.
  6. Make beer a state subsidised, controlled item. RM5 per jug.
  7. Public gatherings do not require permits, but beer must be served.
  8. Declare war and launch preemptive strive against McDonald’s.
  9. Sign a free trade agreement with the sovereign nation of Klang. We needs them bakutehs!
  10. Announce that smurfs are a protected species.

That’s all folks.

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17 Responses

  1. Hahaha!!! I love this post so much! I like your promises, esp. the 3rd, 4th and the last one. LOL!!!! :mrgreen:

  2. hahah nice manifesto dude…..from me Lumut candidate hahahahahahaha

  3. OI! Where am I supposed to go for McD breakfast then?

  4. blusher,

    Those were my favourites too! 🙂

    Truckster,

    Thanks man… 🙂

    Din,

    Go eat nasi lemak like a normal Malaysian. :p

  5. You need to protect the mushrooms too. You can’t leave them poor smurfs homeless.

  6. 😀 I’ll vote for you….hahahaha…

  7. oi….how about my futsal stadium…Need to raise health issues.

  8. Muks,

    They live in houses now. Mushrooms are so 60s. :p

    monica,

    Thank you, thank you.

    Lewis,

    The rowing would make everyone fit and healthy already. No need for futsal stadiums. If you want, we can all play water polo. 🙂

  9. I’ll vote you for no. 5 alone. w00t

  10. ooooh….you should invent water football. Prob we could be world cup winners

  11. ??? badak makan kacang one? i didn’t know that??!!

    and can you change policy 5 to four days weekend and three working day? if that’s the case i move to where ever you are and vote for you! and every morning i’ll shower you with flower petals!

    oh… and please make sure that you ban all these nonsense of creating more smurfettes!

  12. Lily,

    Haha… Thank you.

    Lewis,

    We’re already playing it – in our flooded school padangs.

    yati,

    I think smurfette is hot. :p

  13. once u destroy all tar roads and have them become rivers, can u give me an exclusive concessionaire to have my boats operate public transportation? 🙂

    and i’ll serve beer on board.

    hah!

  14. the irony of all this is that I am voting in shah alam on the 8th.

    spare bukit cerakah and puncak alam’s tapirs and you got my vote. :p

  15. essentric,

    Sure. Anything for you.

    9,

    Are they good to eat? If not, consider them spared. Haha.

  16. haha.
    nice one.

    love from arau.

  17. No.9

    mesti support!!!!!!!!!!!!

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