Breakfast

What do you get when you cross a pig and a millipede?

Bacon and legs.

Snow

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs!

Tanks

Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, ‘You man the guns, I’ll drive.’

Turtles

How would you describe an accident where a truck loaded with turtles had been overturned?

A turtle disaster.

Pink Beef

Seekarlui told me this one and it made me laugh. You have to read it out loud, though…

What did the Pink Panther say when he accidentally stepped on an ant?

*Pink Panther tune* Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant, dead annnnttttt…

= = =

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

Lightbulbs and Mice

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, if they are small enough.

Soles

Did you hear about the shoe factory that burnt down?

Two hundred soles were lost.