A Happy Life

A wise old man with crazy hair once said, “If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.”

Err…

Sorry, just kidding. That was a little ditty by Jimmy Soul.

What Einstein said was this:  If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.

Deep profound stuff. And that’s why, ladies and gentlemen, I watch football.

P/S: We won 2 – 1. With 10 men.

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Goldfish and Mountain Goats

What is the difference between goldfish and mountain goats?

– Goldfish muck around in fountains.

Inflation

Riding my bicycle to work is indeed hard work. Tribulations abound ranging from the brilliant Malaysian drivers to the thick dust to the hot cruel sun’s relentless pounding.

Thank you Pak Lah for increasing the price of fuel. You have made my life so much better. I hope you are nice, cool and comfortable in your air-conditioned, chauffer-driven automobile.

Thank you for making everything dearer. I love standing outside the bakery, staring at the lovely fresh bread and buns that I can no longer afford. I hope you spare a thought for us poor Malaysians when you dine on your lobster thermidor and pate de foie gras tonight.

= = =

The rising cost of living prompted me to do some research on inflation (I am weird like that). Did you know that Zimbabwe’s latest annual inflation figure stands at around 9,000,000%?

Wah lau.  0_o

Nine million percent. How is that even possible? Madness.

Mugabe should just resign. Maybe he could learn from Pak Lah – tell the Zimbabweans to ubah gaya hidup.

Pride

Sometimesh I feelsh so damn proudsh of my countrysh. Hic!

A fushkingsh spacesh tourish went to spacesh on our hard earned taxsh money. Did shome stupid ass shit up there, that ish of no value to Malaysiansh. Hic!

Fuckingsh wrote a self-indulgent booksh on hish so called historic journey. Hic! What was so groundbreakingsh about what he didsh? Five other spacesh tourists wentsh up before him. Read that againsh… Five!!! All that monkey buttocksh did wash strapsh hisself to hish sheet and hope he doesn’t shit himshelf on the way to spacesh.

And now, I heardsh hesh getting a Datuksheep.

Brilliant sheet. Hic! These grass-eating, wooly mammals grow on trees now, isshit?

No wonder this country ish going to the dogsh. Even a spacesh tourish can be knightedsh.

Jush don’t liwat me, you motherfushkersh. Hic!

 

PS: Ash you can tell, I am sho upshet, I got myshelf drunksh. Sheet. Thish is damn depresshingsh.

Millipedes

Recently, I discovered termites at home. Sigh… We called the ‘terminator’ and scheduled an inspection.

The joker showed up, and without consulting us, started spraying shit all over the house. My home now smells like the inside of a local government hospital.

On a happy side note though, the chemicals appear to be stopping the millipedes that have been plaguing my porch these past few weeks.

This is just one day’s worth of those little buggers. All dead.

Busy

I really have to apologise for the lack of posts these days. So much is happening in my life, that the days just seem to zoom pass, leaving a somewhat confused, slightly bewildered and extremely exhausted anttyk behind – scratching his head and blinking in surprise. Where have all the time gone?

I foresee that this will continue till early October.

Bicycle

I am selling my car, and buying a bicycle.

RM2.70 per litre?

What the hell?